The purest relationship which perhaps exists in today’s world is that between a parent and a kid. In majority of the cases, both are deeply in love with each other.
But this is not one of those cases. This story is about Juli and what her father did to her.
It takes a lot of courage and heart to come up and discuss something as personal as this. And that is what blew me away about Juli from the word go.
When I gave her a call, she was just about to enter her home, coming back from office. Being a modest girl she is, she didn’t even excuse herself to freshen up or have dinner. Our conversation took off right away.
Initially she was a bit hesitant on how to start, but then I guess it was her determination which pushed her to share how it all started and what exactly happened.
“Initially I used to stay with my grandparents in Rourkela. It was great there. They loved me a lot, and I too enjoyed living with them. My parents used to stay in Jhashuguda. They used to fight a lot. Not exactly a fight, my father would beat her up badly almost every other day. My mom had dark spots of bruises all over her body. She was in an abusive relationship with my father.
I was in class 5th I guess when my parents asked me to move to Jhashuguda to live with them. That was the point, my life started changing. My father would beat us with belts and sticks and treated my mother like a slave.
One day my mother got a call from her brother, and she had to go and visit him for a few days, I cannot remember what the exact reason was.
That left me and my younger brother with my father. Being a military person, he knew how to cook and do other simple household stuff. Therefore, he managed to convince my mother that he will take care of us.
I can clearly recall, it was a hot afternoon when my father asked me to come to his room. He was stitching some of my clothes. I went inside and stood next to him. He got up to close the door and came back. He asked me to unbutton my pants. As I did that, he made me take them off and lie on the bed.
He went away, I thought he has gone, so I got dressed and was just about to leave when he returned. He had gone to get some oil. He again made me take off my pants and other clothes as well. He did the same to himself, and applied the oil to his penis. I didn’t even understand what was happening. He pushed himself inside me, and did it repeatedly. After he was done, he ejaculated on me which I earlier thought was piss.
I got dressed and left. He asked me to never tell this to anyone and he will give me chocolates for that.
The second time it happened was just a couple of days later. My mother still hadn’t returned. He was drunk this time. I was making teddy bear in my drawing book and watching Jurassic Park with my brother when he came to our room. He asked me to follow him to his room and my brother to continue with the television.
I had to oblige, I didn’t have an option. There was no one whom I could tell all that. I went to his room, and the same thing happened again, and it wasn’t the last time either.
I was too scared of him now. I didn’t tell this to my mother even after she returned, afraid of what he might do to me if he gets to know.
Everyone behaved as if nothing had happened.
The next time my father forced himself inside me was when my mom had gone to attend a funeral. It happened just like before.
After my mom came back, he continued abusing her. There came a point when my mom couldn’t keep all that inside her. She told everything to my father’s elder brother’s wife. She is a nice person. When I heard my mom telling how he forced her as well to have sex with him, I finally blurted out everything. My mom and my aunt hugged me and cried. I didn’t even know at that time why they were hugging me. I didn’t know that I was raped.
We decided to leave the house and go to my dada’s home. None of the buas and chachas supported us. They treated me and my mom badly. They would make me sit in front of everyone and ask me to tell in detail about what happened. They would threaten me that if I don’t speak, me and my mom would be sent to jail. During that stay, one of my cousins also tried to do things with me. When I was asleep one day, he lied next to me and started kissing and running his hands over my body. And at that very moment there was a power cut, and other people came inside the room.
Eventually we decided to leave that house, and shifted back to Rourkela.
My father didn’t stop following us. He would come along with my younger brother and emotionally blackmail my mother. It continued for a few days, and my mother again fell into the trap. My mother fought with all my uncles, and didn’t listen to anybody.
We moved back with him.
The same thing happened again with me and my mom. He started abusing and assaulting her every day.
Things didn’t change with me either, he noticed the change in my body as I was growing up, so one evening he put his hands on my chest and tried to me feel me up, but I had the courage to stop him and walk away.
On top of all that, he had an affair with a prostitute who lived nearby.
One night when he left saying that he had to go for work, my mother understood he was lying. She followed him up and caught him red handed. My father came running in from the back door and locked it. I didn’t know what his intentions were. Perhaps he wanted to rape me again. I took my brother and escaped from a small hole in the backyard. It was pitch dark outside, and I didn’t even have my slippers.
Some street dogs chased me, I was scared to death. Somehow I managed to reach my neighbour’s house. My mother then contacted us and we moved back to Rourkela. But this time, even my grandparents were not ready to accept her as she had gone against their will the last time. They were ready to accept me, but I couldn’t leave my mother alone.
The struggle continued as we lived in a very small room. I managed to give my board exam by lending some money. My mother always ensured that my education never got hampered in any way. I did a graphic designing course and now I am well settled in a good company. But, I never got a childhood which I deserved, and I guess I will always regret that.”
If you look from the outside, then everything will look normal now. But when you step in a little deeper, you will understand what she goes through even today. Her mother thinks that Juli doesn’t remember all this, or probably she just ignores it. The truth is that things like these are almost impossible to forget.
She told me that she doesn’t have many friends, as she never got a chance to have a regular social life, but hopefully I am in that list now. She is one of the toughest persons I have come across in my life and I feel grateful that I came across her and got a chance to be her friend.