So, we live in a country where criminals have the free will to do whatever they wish to. A country where investigation is secondary and duty is not even counted. We are citizens of that country where Damini’s Rapist is roaming around free, or, where a 16 year old boy’s best friend’s mother who raped him, hasn’t been accused yet, it’s been 6 months, already. Jiah Khan, the Ghajini girl. Her story is intriguing and depressing. We haven’t watched her much, but her performances have been phenomenal. The woman who started her career with Amitabh Bachchan, pulled it off well and when she finally got noticed, what happened to her? She fell in love with an irresponsible man who basically gambled her, emotionally. Physically, too. Just like Salman Khan is still roaming around free, so is Hema Malini, Dawwod Ibrahim, Pravez Musharaff, etc.
Now my point is simple. What does India look like to you? A colorful country? Peaceful? Hell NO! In a country where the Police holds uncountable records of beating students as they were performing a peaceful demonstration, or, a country which believes in inculcating Hindutva in schools, I am sorry but I cannot really be a proud Indian. Are you proud of a country where Gay marriage is seen as a sin?
But let me get back to Jiah as her story is painful, and, she is not the only victim to exploitation. We have all talked about Sexual Abuse and I have nothing new to tell you about it, but I want to talk about Emotional Abuse.
Every man/woman has a desire to be loved back, most importantly, they need to be respected and not be used. When in love, which is better if two sided, both the partners are expected to be loyal, respectful and understanding. Balance in a relationship is very necessary. As we are known to be the fast forward generation who love too less and think too much, we often tend to befriend the ones who are harmful for us, and tend to fall in love too easily without giving it a thought and rush into commitments. Now we have to understand one thing, Career is very important and money sure does matter a lot, A LOT. Now when one person prioritizes money more than happiness, that is when the balance is lost, especially when the other person prioritizes happiness over everything and gives ‘love’ a space to create and grow and nourish the future, TOGETHER.
Also, what we fail to understand is, the thin line between being in a relationship and being together. Ignorance from a partner causes Depression, which leads to a lot of problems. Coming back to Jiah Khan and Sooraj Pancholi, the picture is clear and easy. Jiah, even though old in the Industry, was very choosy about her roles. Also, what you must know is, Sooraj Pancholi never really wanted her to do good films, he wanted her to earn, though. Pancholi is a famous spoilt brat and Jiah, extremely talented and hard working, but, an emotional fool. So, she knew that Sooraj was cheating on her, she kept forgiving him and accepted all his flaws, kept loving him, sacrificed her work, even the life inside her system. She continued this way with Sooraj Pancholi, without complaining. All her money was spent on him- surprises, dinner, house, holidays.
But when something reaches to its peak and you seem helpless, this is what happens to you, you lose your mind, your confidence, you feel helpless and worthless. You curl yourself on the floor and try to breathe hard but you fail, you wet your pillow and want to scream, but fail. You sit in a corner, trying to figure out things, you go to the mirror and question yourself, and then you finally find the courage to end it all.
Do you know how painful it is? I am just writing an article on Jiah and can we ever feel what she felt during writing her suicide note? I only have a few things to discuss, that is, why do men have to use women (VICE VERSA)? What is the fun in not being loyal to someone who loves you and believes in you? Winning someone’s trust is a big deal! It is NOT funny when someone is waiting for you at home, and you go around merry making with your opposite sex to have some more fun. If you really wish to do that, don’t commit, SIMPLE.
Sooraj Pancholi, the accused and allegedly THE man behind Jiah’s suicide has been casted by Karan Johar and his film “Hero” is releasing on the 11th of September. WHY? WHY is the case not reaching to its core? WHY has the investigation stopped? WHY is the police not performing its duty or are they too busy helping goons to disturb peaceful protests all over the country? WHY hasn’t Sooraj answered Jiah’s mother’s questions? WHY IS HE STILL ROAMING AROUND FREE AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE REALLY DOESN’T CARE?
What’s the guarantee that he isn’t repeating the very same thing with another woman? Sooraj being the son of a famous Bollywood actor has kept on denying the truth, why? Because his father is a known personality and has probably bought the police with some luring amount? Yeah, I need not guess, I am sure.
Now what are we exactly heading towards? A country where the rape victim’s character is questioned and the rapist roams around shamelessly. A country where gay marriage is a crime. Oh, also, after Jiah’s death, majority of the Indians said,”Jiah wasn’t a very good girl. She was easy and very clingy”. Well, ABSOLUTELY NOT. Even if she was easy and open minded, dear educated Indians, being easy doesn’t make anyone a Slut or accessible. I mean, you judge a person who has killed herself out of depression, and THIS IS NOT A SUICIDE, I CALL THIS MURDER. This is Emotional Rape, a lot like how the Indian Education System rapes the young minds and a lot of them are seen to commit suicide, similarly, we are dangerous for each other. We call kill others just by treating them bad.
A lot of times, we feel shattered and broken and cringed on the inside because the person we look up to, seems to misbehave and misuse us, maybe we get over and move on but while staying stuck when time is ticking, all the effects and the cries and the blames and harming yourself is TOO an Emotional rape. A rape is rape, people might even laugh at me as I called it “Emotional Rape”, but we often overlook these situations knowing these to be the most common and out of 10, 3 are always affected. Please help me stand corrected what to call it, till then, I would rest my case and would want you all to read Jiah’s Suicide note and let you decide what to name it. Remember, it’s NOT a suicide, it’s a murder and the alleged Murderer is roaming around free.
“I don’t know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have nothing to lose. I’ve already lost everything. If you’re reading this I might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost myself in loving you. Yet you tortured me everyday. These days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up.
There was a time I saw my life with you, a future with you. But you shattered my dreams. I feel dead inside. I’ve never given so much of myself to someone or cared so much. You returned my love with cheating and lies. It didn’t matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for you. I was scared of getting pregnant but I gave myself completely the pain you have caused me everyday has destroyed every bit of me, destroyed my soul. I can’t eat or sleep or think or function. I am running away from everything. The career is not even worth it anymore.
When I first met you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined. Then I fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me. I don’t know why destiny brought us together. After all the pain, the rape, the abuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t see any love or commitment from you. I just became increasingly scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically. Your life was about partying and women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay here I will crave you and miss you. So I am kissing my 10-year career and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I received a message about you. About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you. You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with anyone else. I am a loyal person. I never met anyone with Karthik I just wanted you to feel how you make me feel constantly. No other woman will give you as much as I did or love you as much as I did. I can write that in my blood.
Things were looking up for me here, but is it worth it when you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when the person you love wants to abuse you or threatens to hit you or cheats on you telling other girls they are beautiful or throws you out of their house when you have no where to go and you’ve come to them out of love or when they lie to your face or they make you chase after them in their car. Or disrespects their family. You never even met my sister. I bought your sister presents. You tore my soul. I have no reason to breathe anymore. All I wanted was love. I did everything for you. I was working for us. But you were never my partner. My future is destroyed my happiness snatched away from me. I always wished the best for you, was ready to invest what little money I had in your betterment. You never appreciated my love, Kicked me in the face. I have no confidence or self esteem left, whatever talent whatever ambition you took it all away. You destroyed my life. It hurt me so much that I waited for you for ten days and you didn’t bother buying me something.
The Goa trip was my birthday present but even after you cheated I still spent on you. I aborted our baby when it hurt me deeply. You destroyed my Christmas and my birthday dinner when I came back. When I tried my hardest to make your birthday special. You chose to be away from me on Valentines Day. You promised me once we made it to one year we would get engaged.
All you want in life is partying, your women and your selfish motives. All I wanted was you and my happiness you took both away from me. I spent money on you selflessly you would throw in my face. When I would cry for you. I have nothing left in this world to live for after this. I wish you had loved me like I loved you. I dreamt of our future. I dreamt of our success. I leave this place with nothing but broken dreams and empty promises. All I want now is to go to sleep and never wake up again. I am nothing. I had everything. I felt so alone even while with you. You made me feel alone and vulnerable. I am so much more than this.”