The way Parents talk to their children becomes the Inner Voice of the child. Parental support is a must for our children at every step of their growth and for their mental and emotional well being. It is a known and a tested fact that children are able to face all adversities in their life with their parents support and encouragement. It is seen that a child is never scared of his result or failures but he is scared of what his parents will say to him or feel, and many times it is this fear of rebuke from his parents which leads children to run away from home or end their lives after their results are declared. Parents are the most important people in a child’s life, and they can make their children emotionally resilient by appreciating them,approving their efforts and helping them to boost their self-esteem.
What is SELF ESTEEM ?
“It is self-respect or confidence in one’s own worth or abilities” Children should be taught not to doubt their worth at any cost and told “What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you”.
It is a wake-up call for all parents today. They should teach their children how to nourish and keep their self-esteem high in the face any challenges or adversities. They have to demonstrate to their children how to be emotionally strong and resilient and nourish their self esteem no matter what the circumstances may be. Emotional wellness is a very important life skill and is not being taught to the children either in the school or at home. This is the reason why some children are not able to cope up with the stressors and problems they face in life and end up being depressed. A high self-esteem is a very important ingredient of our emotional well being.
HOW TO NOURISH YOUR CHILD’S SELF ESTEEM: Here are some tips:
‘NO ONE CAN MAKE THEM FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT’
1.Never criticize or blame them. Appreciate them for their efforts even if they have failed. Encourage them to try again and TELL THEM that you love them and are there for them—no matter what! This assurance works wonders for your child’s morale and builds up his self-esteem.
2.Teach your children not to be critical of themselves or blame themselves. Teach them the right way of THINKING-to practice Mindfulness which means How to be in the present moment. Whenever they think of the past it should be of their past ACHIEVEMENTS, not failures. They should have a good opinion of themselves at every moment.
3.Children should be taught the art of ‘Acceptance’ right from an early age—Accepting that what has already happened –and planning for the next move with a calm stable mind.
4.Help your children to learn to identify their strengths and skills and work on them. Then they can show their abilities to others and gain appreciation.
5.Teach them to practice GRATITUDE. Write down at least 3 things they HAVE, every day.
6.Teach them to Focus on their EFFORTS not on perfection. They should learn to Appreciate the effort they have put in and try again, if they fail.
7.View mistakes as learning opportunities.
8.Teach them to avoid comparisons and not to invite any thoughts which make them feel inferior to someone else.
9 Tell them that they are unique and they can excel in areas of their strengths. Help them to try different activities to get in touch with their talents.
10 Exercise, Eat and Relax for a stable mind. A stable mind is always in high self-esteem.
Dr.Sona Kaushal Gupta
Neuro-psychologist and CBSE Counsellor