On a hot and sunny day in Ranchi, around 9 o’clock in the morning I was out for a cigarette.
I saw an uncle coming out of an auto, the auto blocking my narrow gully road. Uncle drew out a suitcase, followed by a girl coming out.
She looked my age, terrific. My eyes went wide open, mouth tightly shut. I waited for uncle to pull out more luggages and pay the auto driver. I saw the girl stealing glances at me and smiling. No comments. Auto leaves, uncle too leaves along with girl.
Why did she smile at me?? Did I look good that morning (I have no John Abraham biceps, no George Clooney clefts. For lack of better words, below average, male.), look at my clothes, 3 quarters and a Tom and Jerry t-shirt on a 21 something guy. Shit man.
Couple of months later…
I find the same girl standing at my interview center. (Oh, I used to see her sometimes in my locality all these months but had never seen her coming out alone.)
I checked my clothes and walked up to her.
I- “Hi, you live in my area, right? In that hostel?”
She- “Excuse me, your area? Who are you??”
I- “Sorry, I just thought… Well, we are neighbours. So anyway, you here for the interview?”
She- “Yes, I am.”
I- “What is your timing??”
She- “I am not a candidate, I work here. I will be taking your interview.”
I- “Oh..” (shit, hell, fish….)
She-“Ok, now I have to go. All the best.”
Well, the interview sucked. It was like I set the benchmark of what all can go wrong in an interview. The only good thing was that I saw her name on the nameplate kept in front of her. Shahida. Yeeiiii.
But she didn’t ask me a single question, just kept on smiling, so I stayed, long after my interview got over.
(Lots of cigarettes and chai later)
6:30 pm
I saw her coming out of the office, she sees me and stops.
She- “You still think you will get the job??”
I- “No, just wanted to talk to you if you don’t mind.”
She- “Say, 10 minutes.”
I- “I need just one, can we be friends?”
She- “Will you be happy with just friends??”
I- “Yeah.” (standard reply of any boy in such a situation.)
She- “Ok then, we are friends.”
I- “Come, I will drop you on my bike, my treat, golgappas.”
(Well a lot happened that day, numbers were exchanged, information that she lived in a hostel for working women, the girls with her were not her sisters but simply hostel friends anyways we became friends.)
Lots of meetings and texts and calls later…
Shahida- “I have to tell you something important. Come at 6:30 in the office.”
I reached office at 6.
She comes out, asks me to take her to a cafe. Sits down, orders a coffee. I start solving these puzzles they had on the tables.
Shahida- “You know, I am…”
Me- “Hunh..”
Shahida- “Well, I am a lesbian, today is October 11, our coming out day, I had to tell it to someone today. You are perfect.”
Me- “What.. what.. what…??”
Shahida- “You heard me, I am a lesbian. Have been one since I was 17.”
For a few seconds I felt like really sad. (It is not often that you can change the preferences of a person courtesy your looks.)
Shahida- “Say something, as it is no one understands me. Aapa (Elder sister) doesn’t, Mom and Dad would never ever want to hear it, you too??”
Me- “Well, good for you. Ummm.. Can you hook me up with someone else then?? If yes then I am ok.” (I am a guy after all.)
I saw a kohl eyed Shahida suddenly turning into a watery eyed, big smile Shahida.
Shahida- “Thank you. (She hugs me now. I go ‘Yay!!!’)
Me- “You could have told me earlier, why did you have to make me waste so much time and money on you if you didn’t like me?”(The hug is still on. I am still like Yay!!!) Something’s better than nothing.
Shahida- “I like you, But I love girls, I knew it for the past 5 years. But no one is ready to accept me for who I am. I had to leave my last job because word got out that I was Queer and people started making fun of me.” (Breaks off the hug. Aww.. She still looks adorable.)
Me- “I am ready to accept you for who you are.”
Shahida- “Thanks, you won’t run away or something?” (Wiping off her tears now.)
Me- “Not till you find a good girl, with the proper sanskaras and who knows how to cook decent Indian meals.” (Shahida cooks like an engineer, trust me, all messy and no taste.)
Shahida- “But promise not to tell it to anyone else.”
Me- “How the hell will you find a good girl then??”
Shahida- “I will seek her while staying undercover, like a CIA agent.”
Waitress – “Coffee, sir.”
Me- “Ye chalegi, dekh na be…. ”
Shahida stamps out of the café, leaving me in splits.
This incident happened last year, And Shahida still is my friend and accomplice in crime, watching girls and chilling out, you know it is actually cool to hang out with girls who will not be judging you on how decent you look or why do you smoke.
Yes she is different as per the rules of the society, but I don’t care.
She has a right to live her life the way she wants. You can either support her or just leave her alone.
P.S. – Shahida isn’t her real name.
P.P.S . – She still is single.
For all the Queer people out there, the LGBT. Rise and Shine.
Note: Image is only for representational purpose.
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