From a classic poem written by William Ross Wallace entitled ‘What Rules the World’, he said that the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. It illustrates the influence a mother plays to her child and in the long run to the society; that as a mother strives to nurture and teach a child, she explicitly makes the world a much better place.
International Mother’s day falls on the 2nd Sunday of May every year. In the process of thinking on the topic I was trying to understand what it takes to be a mother. What is it like being a mother? Does giving birth make one a mother or is it the process of mothering a child? Our mythology itself has a wonderful example of Yeshoda the mother who raised lord Krishna. Krishna is referred to as ‘Yeshoda ka laal’, not Devaki’s. We all will agree that the one who raises the child is greater person than the one who gives birth. It’s the nurturing of the child that makes a woman a mother. ‘Being a mother’ means more than having given birth to a child. And the process is phenomenal. In the entire process a mom has to give…throughout her life. When she conceives it’s a small part of her system she gives away. It’s loving and knowing a soul before you even see it. It’s carrying and caring for a life completely dependant on you for survival. It’s giving air to the lungs that grew within you, and sight to the eyes that will never see you as anything but mommy. It’s sleepless nights, its nursing scratches and scrapes, it’s being stern and protective. It’s teaching them to talk, to walk and to eventually run. It’s learning to hand your child to a stranger to let them teach what you cannot at times. It’s bracing them for a fall, and dusting them off after they do. It’s seeing them cry and not knowing how to fix it, so you sit on the floor and hold them and cry right along beside them. It’s teaching them that they are smart, capable, funny and giving them the security to do great things. It’s building their self-esteem, supporting their dreams and loving them unconditionally. It’s letting them go, letting them fail and teaching them how to get back up. In later years the child grows big she needs to give space. She needs to switch roles from being a daunting caring mother to a guide, a friend whom her baby can confide in. Slowly she needs to stop giving time and only witness her child take off on his own journey. Even then she will be giving her blessing.
The entire journey a mother is just giving from the start till the end. And one thing she will always give is ‘love’. She will learn to love without expectations. Her love evolves as a selfless love. This process of loving selflessly and giving without expectations is, what I understand is the making of a mother. And the father plays an equally important role in the journey. It’s just that physically the stress on a mother’s is huge. And I have great respect for single fathers who are doing this great job of being a mother.
So without our babies ‘Being mother’ is impossible…its them who teaches us to care, to love, to give without expectations. If at all someone tells you that you are an amazing mom the credit goes to your child as he/she brings the best out of you. I would thus like to dedicate this ‘Mother’s day’ to my two lovely sons because of whom I have learnt to be patient, be caring, be creative, be tolerant, be a learner, be an artist, be curious, be innovative, be adventurous, be expressive and above all be loving in a manner that the other feels loved. Thank you Krish and Kaveesh for helping me ‘Being a mother’.